“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. “Eph. 4:26-27

Even God gets angry! In a conversation with Moses recorded in Exodus 4, “God’s anger burned against Moses.”

Anger shows up in every relationship. Like any other emotion, it can be productive or destructive. In the dynamic with God and Moses, God provided an alternative plan that Moses embraced. The new plan changed Moses’ life and the future of a whole nation.

Consider this scenario: Bill’s mad; he has come home from work to no plan for dinner again. Jan has been home with sick kids all day. She does not have the energy to make dinner. Bill will often be silent, withdraw or express his frustration with harsh words. Jan responds in kind and often feels like a failure.

An alternative plan can be Name It /Solve It.  

Name It: Bill expresses his feeling. “I feel disappointed when I come home hungry and there’s no plan for dinner. That makes me feel unimportant.” Jan’s turn: “I’m so overwhelmed with caring for the kids all day and I find it hard to have the energy to get a meal together. You are important but the kids are taking all my energy. I’m sorry.”

No blaming; just naming the emotion in “I feel” language without a high emotional engagement. Saves energy to focus on the issue.

Solve it: In this case the problem is no dinner ready for a hungry husband and an overwhelmed wife. Bill and Jan decided to plan the menu and do food prep on the weekend with at least an emergency meal in the freezer for unexpected circumstances.

Prayer: God, thank you for your example. Give us the wisdom and strength to use our anger to create solutions that will give us success in our relationship.

Go Deeper:  Are there any lingering feelings of frustration or anger related to unresolved issues that need to be named? Call for a “Name It/Solve it” session. Remember that anger is just an emotion, so use it as a constructive building block in your relationship!

by Mike Woodard
used by Mike Woodard

FURTHER READING

The Danger of Anger – by Charles Stanley

Anger Management – by Kathy Creek

Provoking to What? – Love or Anger –  by Jason Weimer

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