“Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine and good things in others. Think about all the things you can praise God for and be glad about.” Philippians 4:8

There is a book called Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness. I read a review recently. After five years of research, they found that people who forgive face decreased stress and fewer physical symptoms of stress. People who forgive experience greater physical vitality. People who forgive feel less hurt and anger.

They have concluded that the problem with grudges is that each time we think about the hurt or anger at the heart of the grudge, it’s a reminder of the helplessness we felt when it occurred.

Here are nine steps they recommend for moving towards forgiveness:

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened.

2. Forgiveness is for you. Make a commitment to do what you need to feel better.

3. Seek peace, not necessarily reconciliation, with the person(s), who hurt you.

4. Get perspective and recognize that distress comes from hurt feelings thoughts, and not what hurt you in the first place.

5. When you feel upset, redirect your thoughts to that which is positive.

6. Give up expecting things from other people that they choose not to give you.

7. Instead of mentally replaying the hurt, seek new ways to get what you want.

8. Focus on goodness, love and beauty. Remaining in the hurt only gives power to the person who hurt you.

9. Rewrite the story of the grievance in your mind so you can focus on the heroic choice to forgive.

Seems to me that these steps are the very thing the Apostle Paul was telling us in the verse in Philippians 4:8.

Someone said, “The practice of forgiveness is the most important contribution to healing the world.”  What do you think?

It begins with us. How about you – holding on to any grudges? Forgiveness is good for your health! Want to help heal the world?  It begins with you.

Father, You have given us all the principles for our health and the healing of the world. You know that we always see how others need to change, but it is our attitudes that will begin to effect change. Your grace is sufficient for each one of us. Thank You that Your Holy Spirit will give us the will and the power to forgive wholeheartedly.  Amen.

by Katherine Kehler
Used by Permission

FURTHER READING

• The Power of Forgiveness
• The Stumbling Block of Unforgiveness
• The Secret of Forgiveness

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“Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Years ago I said to my brother, “I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment or an insult.” I’ll never forget what he said next.

“If you have a choice, assume it was a compliment.” There’s a lot of wisdom in that.

So often the same words can be taken as good or bad. When I choose to assume the best of people it completely changes the way I experience the world. My attitude changes my circumstances, even on days when really awful things are happening.

It all starts in the heart. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or irritated quickly pray, “Lord, guard my heart.” Ask Him to help you let any injury or insult slide off you. Don’t pick up the hurt and take it home.

My mom used to say, “If you’re determined to find an insult, you’ll succeed.” Ask God to show you His view of the people you come in contact with. Pay attention to what’s happening in your heart. Pray for grace for yourself so you can show mercy to others. Is your heart hanging on to a hurt that you can release today?

God, Thank you that Your grace really is enough. Where there is injustice or hurt, when my pride gets bruised or my voice isn’t heard, teach me to run to You first. Remind me that my identify comes from who You say I am, not from words that get muttered in the heat of the moment. Guard my heart Father. When insults try to take root help me to be quick to pull them out. May the words I speak to other be Your words. May my attitude be more Christ-like today than it was yesterday. Teach me Your gentleness in the heat of the moment. Thank you for loving me more than I know. Thank you that out of the overflow of Your love, I can love others. Amen

Thought: Pay close attention to your attitude today. When you catch yourself holding on to hurt ask God to help you release it to Him. Give yourself a visual reminder and check in with yourself or a trusted friend throughout the day.

By Claire Colvin
Used by Permission

FURTHER READING

• He Put a Song in My Heart
• Something Beautiful of my Life

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The First Step towards rooting out bitterness

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5.43-44 (NLT, emphasis mine)

“Lord, is there any bitterness in my life?” I asked the question half-heatedly knowing that there wouldn’t be. I had just worked through a seven year stretch of bitterness and felt pretty sure that there couldn’t be any more.

How wrong I was! Bitterness had burrowed deep into my soul. With every wrong done to me I allowed it to tunnel deeper and deeper, until it became a part of me. I relished the bitterness. I was sure I must be in the right.

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.” (Proverbs 14.10 NLT)

God’s illuminating truth revealed the corruption of my heart. But how do I yank this out of my life? Where do I go?

“Come to ME” (Matthew 11:28-29).

Pray for those who have wounded you, for those who have done you wrong. Prayer does the unexplainable, in the heart of the one who prays.

What about you? Have you asked God to show you the bitterness that lurks in your own heart? Are you praying for those who have hurt you and done you wrong?

Lord, I surrender my bitterness to You, all the those things I used to justify my bitterness because I was wronged. I NEVER want to add another brick to my wall of bitterness. Root out this darkness in me and teach me to come to You. Amen.

Action Step
If you need support read “Feelings, Forgiveness and Peace” to find out how to heal.

by Kristi Huseby
Used by Permission

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