My Husband Isn’t Meeting My Needs!!
“And it is He who will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory, because of what Christ Jesus has done for us” (Philippians 4:19).
Married at last! It was so natural to be together all of the time, as if we were made for each other. We were so poor that we didn’t even have a car at first. We lived in one room in a big old house with three other couples with whom we shared the bathroom. He was in college and I worked as a clerk in a drugstore. It was good and we never even noticed that we were poor.
Life keeps changing and so did we. We began having babies. By the time we were twenty-five, we had four. Marvin had finished college and we were owners of a large egg farm. We worked hard, and God granted us a measure of financial success.
Marvin, being athletic, played hockey, baseball, and football, and loved to golf. The children and I spent many evenings at the hockey arena or on the bleachers at the baseball games. I loved reading, gardening, and crafts. We both had leadership positions in our church and denomination.
After several years, I began getting tired of going to his sports events, and I became discontent with the busyness of life. I felt that my husband wasn’t meeting my needs. I wanted the kind of relationship where he would understand and meet all my needs. Having a new house, nice clothes, jewelry, and many holidays didn’t satisfy me either. I was putting a lot of pressure on my husband to be different. I wanted him to change. Marriage didn’t seem so great any more.
Dr. Henry Brandt, a Christian psychologist, spoke at a conference we attended. He taught us some truths that revolutionized our marriage. He said that the person we married is not able to meet our needs, because he or she is only human — only God can meet all our needs. That was a new way of thinking for me, but I knew instantly it was the truth.
And I began to change! I stopped expecting Marvin to meet my needs (at least most of the time) and began to go the Word and the Lord when I felt needy. And I changed. I was happier. I began to thank God for all my husband’s wonderful characteristic traits. In response to my changed attitude, Marvin became sensitive to my needs. Amazing how God works!
Sometimes I still slip into my old way of thinking, but not for long. Only God can meet my needs. Jesus satisfies!
How are you doing in your marriage? Are you expecting your spouse to meet your needs? If so, pray the prayer below and begin looking to God, your Creator, to meet your needs.
Father God, I acknowledge that I have put pressure on people to do for me what only You can do — to satisfy all my needs. From this day forward, I will look to You and Your Word to fill me with everything I need. Thank You! Amen.
If you have never began a relationship with God and would like to start one today, you can do so through a simple prayer of faith:
Prayer is talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer:
“Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.”
Further Reading on Marriage
My Spiritual Journey by Katherine Kehler