Drinking…
When you were little things scared me. Like when you would walk out in the street without looking, when you started riding a bike, you were a little wobbly! You lost a toe nail in Ottawa. Dating, teaching you to drive etc… I think I’m over these. None of these scare me any more because your learned and perfected your skills. Okay, maybe I’ve become more relaxed. LOL I loved you and did not want to see you get hurt. I still love you!!
Something scares me now… Your emotional upheaval is so significant, it seems like trying to ski on an avalanche! You try to calm things down and then Bobbie changes the terms of separation. You are lonely and want friendship which has all changed. Your home sold and what you thought would release some pressure financially has not happened. Job change! Your kids are struggling to cope. A lot is going on, a ton of stress. I know you are trying your best to get thought the avalanche. It’s like you have to be on full alert all the time, that’s exhausting.
One thing that really scares me… Part of my fear is because I have experienced this before growing up.
I was traumatized growing up seeing my parents drunk. They would talk to me and I was parallelized by helplessness. They would tell me things, I would see and hear things no child should hear or see. You may have heard me say of my dad, “He was like Jekyll and Hyde.” When he was not drinking he was hard working, considerate in many ways, relational with neighbors and friends but drunk he was either a sad drunk and a mad drunk. The alcohol change him.
Many destructive things happened. I did not want to be around him/them when they were drunk. For example: One night they got us all out of bed, I might have been Coby’s age and said we are getting divorced and wanted us, right there, pick the parent we wanted to go with. Many other things happened, some my innocence protected me from understanding till years later. I remember asking a friend from school to have a sleep over and he came back the next day and said, “No I can’t your parents are drunks.” I came home once and a strange man was coming out of my mothers bedroom… I was too young to understand.
I’ve gone through it with my brothers. Their lives have been so deeply damaged by the undisciplined use of alcohol.
So yes, what I’m seeing scares me on so many levels. I see the Jekyll and Hyde dynamic going on in your life too.
I know you respect the Bible so here’s what the Bible says. It never says we can’t drink but has wisdom and commands related to over drinking.
People who are controlled by alcohol are foolish…
“Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.” Proverbs 20:1 (ESV)
Over indulgence in drink and food will lead to poverty…
“Hear, my child, and be wise, and direct your heart in the way. Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.” Proverbs 23:19-21 (ESV)
Command don’t get drunk… Don’t be controlled by anything other than God’s Spirit.
“And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery (wickedness), but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:18-21 (ESV)
Not being sober minded can open us to greater danger of spiritual attack…
“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)
I’m not asking you to stop drinking. I’m asking you not to get drunk because of the danger it puts you emotionally, mentally and physically.
Here are somethings that help me.
- I limit myself to 2 glasses of wine. If I have more I will cross the line to the alcohol controlling me.
- Wine only, because I do not want to expand my taste for other types of alcohol.
- I don’t drink alone.
- I believe it is a sin to get drunk because the direct command is: “Do not get drunk with wine…”
- I have stretches of time without drinking to prove to myself I’m not addicted. Travel and times of fasting.
by Mike Woodard
used be permission
FURTHER READING
- I Got Drunk by Mike Woodard
- Thirsty for God
- Fill’er Up – by Jan Stewart
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