What’s Love Got To Do With It?

How long has it been since you have spent over two months with one person?
I’m talking day and night, 24/7! Probably not since being with your mama!
Well, my wife Anne and I—just the two of us—took a once-in-a-lifetime trip
one summer not long ago. We rented a 36-foot motorhome in Langley, B.C.,
near Vancouver, and off we went.

We began planning this full-summer getaway the previous fall. After several
considerations, our plan evolved into a 5,006-mile adventure from Vancouver,
Canada, down to Glacier National Park in Montana, then north to Canada again
through Banff, Lake Louise, and Jasper. From there, we travelled up the
Alcan Highway into Alaska, through Anchorage, and west to the literal end of
the road: Homer.

We then made a U-turn and headed back east and south, down the “Marine
Highway” on the ferry systems of Alaska and Canada.

It was indeed an adventure, but it was also quite a challenge. The roads are
often mountainous, curving, and narrow, with little or no shoulders. The days
were packed with decisions to agree on: when to leave, when to stop, what to
eat and when, where to park at night, which spot to choose, what view to have,
how private it should be—and on and on, every day.

Yes, it was indeed a challenge. I learned many things from this trip,
especially these five:

1. I’m impatient.
2. I’m intolerant.
3. I’m rude.
4. I’m sometimes even mean.
5. And so is my wife!

Anyway, when we returned the motorhome that last morning, Anne and I both
shouted with glee, “We made it! We actually made it!”

But that is not the focus of my story. What I want to express is a wonderful
by-product of the trip.

Long before the trip, I began visualizing what each day would be like, and I
saw a relaxed, casual approach to everything. Thinking along those lines, I
decided my mornings would be mine: no rush and no pressure. I love long, quiet
times alone when I wake and draw near to God through devotionals, Bible reading,
thinking, and prayer. This is a special time for me.

With all that in mind, I decided I would read the New Testament again, slowly
and thoroughly—reviewing the footnotes and reading the corresponding verses. I
would add this study to my usual morning time with the Lord. “How wonderful,” I
thought. “I’ll have plenty of time, no rush, just slow and easy. I can’t wait!”

Fast-forward to only two weeks left on our journey, and I was only in the last
part of Matthew. Can you believe it? I had not even completed the first book of
the New Testament.

It is difficult to explain how this happened, but in reality, I just had not
done it. With the long days and sunsets at midnight, I stayed up later. Then,
with the early dawns at around 4:00 a.m., sleep was fitful. Medication also
contributed, along with a casual, procrastinating approach to time in general.
Looking back over those first six weeks, plus outright laziness, I just did not
get it done.

I was pretty bummed about it—kind of depressed—knowing it was too late to
complete my plan, reach my goal, and accomplish what I had determined would be
“wonderful.” I had blown it.

For some reason, as I sat there, I began thinking: What is the one most
important thing God desires of and for me? I thought of the time when some
lawyers asked Jesus, “What is the most important commandment?” He answered:
“You are to love your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind,” and,
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I thought of the fact that love is a verb—the action word in the most important
commandment from God Himself. It seemed then that love must be the most important
verb in the Bible. Then I thought, “Nope, it must be the verb in Genesis 1:1:
‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.’ Created is the first
verb and the most important—God’s first action.”

He created us to love Him, then others. I had pretty well known all this, even
if I had not thought about verbs and all that. I felt I was a pretty good
“lover,” in general, as the command instructs. I am thankful and grateful. I
pray regularly for His kingdom, pray for people, try to be obedient and
Spirit-led, give generously, help others, evangelize, introduce people to the
Lord, and draw near to God every day—asking for an ever-increasing love for Him
and others. I had to be a good “lover,” right?

But my thoughts continued. If love is my most important action response to God,
then what specifically is love? I mused over Scriptures as they came to mind:
Scripture says God is love; love covers a multitude of sins; without love as
our motivation, all other actions are empty and worthless; God so loved the world
that He gave His only begotten Son; and they will know us by our love.

Understand, I was simply thinking—not making an exhaustive search through the
Bible or consulting a concordance. I was just trying to sequence my thoughts.

Next came the “love chapter”:

1 Corinthians 13
.
Love is patient, kind, and not rude. I had read it and heard it at almost every
wedding scores of times, but I could not recall all of it. So I turned to it in
my Bible and read:

“Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous, does not brag and is not
arrogant, does not act unbecomingly, is not rude, does not seek its own—that
is, is not self-seeking—is not easily angered or provoked, does not take into
account a wrong suffered, is not resentful, does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices with truth; is longsuffering, bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never quits,
fails or ends.”

1 Corinthians 13

I stopped right there and was prompted to think of this as a “behavior scale” to
see how I was doing. “Oh, I’m fine,” I thought. “I have known this for years,”
I mused, until I reread: love is patient, love is kind, and does not act
unbecomingly. Those three were far enough—and more. I had failed all three of
them in the last 24 hours.

My 67 days, 24/7 with Anne had partly been a difficult adjustment, and my
response had been impatience, intolerance, rudeness, anger, arrogance, and other
shortcomings. Slowly, I realized that in my everyday life, I had also committed
these same sins. But they were interspersed with many times of “doing good,”
which had diminished their significance—to me.

Confined in the motorhome, one-on-one, day after day, God showed me clearly my
true, unloving behavior. There was no getting away from it. Then I experienced
an even greater shock, because this was the first time I realized that this
behavior convicted me of failing in my love for God.

I had never equated my behavior toward others with a lack of love for God. I
think my past approach was: “I’m human. I’m not perfect. I’ll try, and then
confess when I fail. He forgives me.”

1 John 1:9

teaches that this is true; however, this does not fulfill His intentions for me.

Understand, I had always known this behavior was sin. I just had not thought of
it as the sin of not loving God according to His commandment: “If you love me,
you will keep my commandments.” At any rate, I was convicted right then.

Jesus said, “They’ll know you by your love.” Love that is patient, kind, not
rude, not self-serving, not envious or jealous, not a braggart, not arrogant,
not easily provoked, not resentful, and all the others described in

1 Corinthians 13
.

The Scripture that teaches us to “be doers of the word, not just hearers” came
to mind. So did the fact that the command to love God and love others is the most
important of all, and that it is specifically spelled out in

1 Corinthians 13
.
It is the very foundation of faith—first things first. Again, Jesus said, “If
you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Keep this one, and we are a long
way along in keeping them all.

I felt as if God said to me, “Norm, love is the New Testament.”

Right then, I made a bookmark and wrote down these specific qualities of love
from

1 Corinthians 13
.
Since then, I have tried to begin my morning prayers by going down the list,
rethinking the past 24 hours, and confessing my failures one by one—if I had not
already confessed them when they happened.

After that, I start with patience again and go through the list, asking God to
give me the patience of Christ, the kindness of Christ, and freedom from
selfishness, jealousy, resentment, and rudeness. I remind Him that He said He
would give me anything I ask for that is in His will.

You know what? He is doing it. I am loving more and loving better. I am happier,
slower to anger, less intense, and more friendly—more patient and kind, less rude,
and more loving in so many ways.

I’ll close with this question: Can you quote 1 Timothy 1:5?

“The goal of our instruction is love, from a pure heart, a good conscience,
and a sincere faith.”

1 Timothy 1:5

Let this be our prayer for one another.