“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” 2 Corinthians 5:17-18
In my talks with women, I find that many a mother’s heart has been broken because there is division in her family.
I hear sad words like these:
“My children and I are not on speaking terms.”
“My daughter’s phone calls are brief and businesslike.”
“My son came to visit in my home town, yet he did not let me know or contact me.”
“My daughter has time for everyone else but me.”
I pass on to them what has helped me during a difficult time when my children avoided me. Often an estrangement develops during a traumatic time such as a death or a divorce. Painful emotions take time to process. We need to give our children time and space to sort them out.
“If only we could talk,” I would think. “Then we could come to some understanding.” But, this may not be the time for talking. When hurts are deep, no explanation seems to help. In fact, your words will sound like you are being self-defensive. When you are in conflict, concentrate on reconciliation rather than resolution.
For our own healing we need to bask in God’s love by feeding on Scripture verses that speak of His love and His delight in us (such as Ephesians 3:16-19).
When we are secure in His love, we’ll be able to reach out to our children in love.
We’ll be equipped to be ministers of reconciliation. How?
- Keep communication lines open by talking about subjects they’re comfortable with.
- Keep reaching out: remember birthdays and other special occasions. Pray for each child by name with thanksgiving.
- Be a grace-giver. Grace lets go of the “you-guys- owe-me” hook. It gives your children freedom to grow, to make decisions, to fail and to mature at their own rate. Reconciliation is God’s will for us.
Thank you, Jesus, for working reconciliation in our relationship with the Father and with each other. Help me to be a minister of reconciliation in my family, my church, the world.
by Helen Lescheid
used by permission